Dealing With A Mental Disorder; Your Anxieties, And Your Fears

It is not easy to deal with your fears, anxieties, or any type of mental disorder. If you have such a problem, the first step is that you should talk to a professional who can get you started in the right path of getting better. Getting help from a counselor or other professional is very important and can provide you much help and insights in dealing with your current problem. Getting help from a professional should be the first thing you do in getting better. In the meantime, here are some techniques a person can use to help manage their fears, anxieties, and other issues.

Learn to take it one day at a time. Instead of worrying about how you will get through the rest of the week or coming month, try to focus on today. Each day can provide us with different opportunities to learn new things and that includes learning how to deal with your problems. Focus on the present and stop trying to predict what may happen next week. Next week will take care of itself.

A good way to manage your problem is to challenge your negative thinking with positive statements and realistic thinking. When encountering thoughts that make your fearful or anxious, challenge those thoughts by asking yourself questions that will maintain objectivity and common sense. When facing a current or upcoming task that overwhelms you with a lot of anxiety, the first thing you can do is to divide the task into a series of smaller steps. Completing these smaller tasks one at a time will make the stress more manageable and increases your chances of success.

Sometimes, we may be nervous doing a certain task that may be scary. When this happens, visualize yourself doing the task in your mind. For instance, you and your team have to play in the championship hockey game in front of a large group of people in the next few days. Before the big day comes, imagine yourself playing the game in your mind. Imagine that your playing in front of a large audience. By playing the game in your mind, you will be better prepared to perform for real when the time comes. Self Visualization is a great way to reduce the fear and stress of a coming situation.

Sometimes we encounter a scary situation that gets us all upset. When encountering these events, always remember to get all of the facts of the given situation. Gathering the facts can prevent us from relying on exaggerated and fearful assumptions. By focusing on the facts, a person can rely on what is reality and what is not.

As a Layman and not as a professional, I realize it is not easy to deal with all of our fears and other problems, however there are all kinds of help available. Remember to take advantage of the help that is around you. The key is to be patient and not to give up. In time, you will be able to find those resources that will help you with your problems.

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Stop Your 'Wasting Time' Right Now!

Well not really, you have to know where you are and where you want to be in order to improve anything. So deciding that your time management skills are poor, and learning how to get better and where you want to be is time well spent. How ever in saying that if you've been searching for time management information for days now, and are still looking for a perfect solution there's a chance youre procrastinating. Just one trait of someone with poor time management.

So what can you do to start improving your time management right away?

Make lists and prioritize

Often it's not that people aren't effective with their time rather they just don't spend the time they have doing the right things. We're all guilty of this at one time or another, but some of us are habitual with it. The easiest way to determine if you do this is to make a list each morning, or the night before of the things you need/want to accomplishthe following or that day. Once you have your list prioritize the items from greatest to least importance. Now spend a day and perform the tasks in the order you prioritized them. This does two things.

a.) It shows you what you need to accomplish in a day so you now have some urgency because you know there are other tasks to get done not just the one your currently working on.

b.) It ensures that the most important items are being taken care of first.

There are times when we can't finish every item on our list but at least we took care of the most important issues first.

Learn to say no

You can't do everything for everyone. Following our list exercise above it's obvious that if you have a list of 20 things and only time for 10 of them in a day then it's hard to accept additional activities from others. Of course there are trade offs that a more important task could come along and you exchange it for another task you were going to do that day. This gets into another discussion on life priorities such as friends, family, career, remember balance is also important. But you can't do everything so if the boss wants you to work late that night, but your supposed to see your sons hockey game you have to be able to say no somewhere.

Don't book every moment of your day

Now while we've preached lists, daily organization, and learning to say no you do need to leave some room for flexibility. Booking up every moment of your day so that you're on a minute-by-minute schedule can be a big problem if a mini crisis occurs in the day that wasn't accounted for.

Use other tools

Using day planners, or PDA's to keep track of appointments and to do lists will save time and promote organization on all levels. Also keeping good contact information whether it be in a contact database on your computer or in an address book will save time when you need to contact people.

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Helping Your Kids Handle Divorce

Every year over one million parents have to talk to their kids about divorce. For each parent, the discussions differ, but the goals of the discussions are universal: to openly and honestly reassure your child of your love.

Divorce is painful and traumatic for all involved spouses and children alike. We all happily begin our lives together full of shared hopes and dreams and committed to a lasting and loving relationship. Yet almost 50 % of todays marriages end in divorce. How parents handle divorce, however, makes the difference in their children's healthy adjustment or potential maladjustment.

Heres an example of how to begin talking to your child about your divorce.

Lets meet Brad: Brad is 9 years old and an only child. Hes the apple of his mothers eye and dads best buddy. Brad is at the top of his class in school and participates in the school band and in the spelling bee. Hes also an active athlete playing intramural hockey and soccer, and running competitively. Both of his parents attend all of his sports and school activities.

One day to his surprise Dad takes him out after a soccer game and tells him "I have something sad to tell you. Mom and I are having a hard time, and you may have noticed something wasn't right between us, and you are right. Were going to live in different houses and youll be spending some of the week with me and some with your Mom. I know this will be difficult for all of us. So we should talk about it openly together and about what we're both feeling."Discussing divorce with your children is never easy. Here are some tips to help ease this transition.

1. Communicate with your spouse (partner): Although things have not worked out in the marriage, the two of you still have children to raise together. Be sure you both are in agreement as to the timeline of the change and give your children clear dates and details. The more solid the plan, the less anxiety your child will experience.

2. Use age appropriate language and details: A five-year-old and ten-year-old understand very different things and have different levels of maturity. Follow their questioning before offering details. Be honest, but remember what is appropriate for the age of the child or they will not comprehend the situation.

3. Reassurance: Reassure them that they will continue to be loved and cared for by the two of you. Let your children know that your love for one another has changed, but that your love for them remains strong and constant. Reiterate that the divorce is not their fault.

4. Discretion: Make an agreement with your spouse to not speak badly about the other spouse to the children. Refrain from arguing in front of the children and do your best to keep them out of your conflict!

5. Know yourself: Be aware of your own feelings of hurt or anger. Do not make a child a confidant for the pain the divorce is causing you. Seek a support group to help you through this period. Share your feelings with friends and professionals. Children are not therapists!

Always remember: Strive to be communicative and honest during and after the divorce process because there will be different degrees of feelings over the event as time goes on. If you're communicating honestly, however, you can never hurt your child.

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